Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.

It's that time of the year, again.

It seems counter-intuitive to keep going at this, but I just couldn't let this go. I deigned to consider a more sophisticated choice of lifestyle, unwilling to accept life's brevity and frailty. I struggled; fearful of potential criticism, hopeful of unwarranted praise. It is never by design that I seek to accomplish so much, yet always falling short. Still, I promise to try again. 

I just want to live with no ragrets. Not even a single letter, never again.

(Not)Incandescent

You won't know what was lost until it already far too late. There's no precedence to crying over spilled milk; you might as well get a new carton and drown yourself in that sweet white stuff. For the lactose intolerant, just drown yourself in regular water.

Besides wry humor, there's little I can afford to offer the world.

These things are getting shorter and shorter, I'm afraid I've finally lost it.

To be.

There are better things to be.

Being disciplined.
Stoic and steadfast.

Being athletic.
Fit and fast.

Being at peace.
Calm and collected.

Being free.
Willful and wild.

but why?

Bienvenue.

Hi there.

Have you miss this?

"The shortness of breath as you gallop across an open field, green as far as the horizon. Well, technically the horse you're riding on does all the galloping. You just try to hold on for the ride. Taking in the vastness of the blue sky, clouds and all. Wind billowing against your face, hair's a bloody mess. Relentless, you ride forward, onward, frontward. Ahead. Into the unknown."

I know I have.

Gimme.

I was bereft of the exhilaration of discovery for so long, it feels really good to finally recover this feeling again, even if just for a little while.

Picking up bits and pieces; tiny baby steps.

Intermittent.

Idle chatter with the neighboring uncle:

"How's your future planning going?"

"Uhhh, I have none"

Awkward but hearty laughter ensues.

Please standby. . .

Conceited.

It's evident that I've neglected to write lately. I don't even remember the last time I wrote anything.

Not snippets of my monologue like this, but writings. I'm not making much sense here am I.

I have moments of revelation, becoming highly inspired to write but these moments are as fleeting as their occurrences. It would seem that I'm climbing into a comfortable cocoon, becoming lazy and complacent.

Alas, my worst nightmare comes true.

Utter.

Is it better to not try at all than to experience such gut-wrenching defeat?

Do or do not.

Dammit.

Downtrodden.

It seems awkward. Typing, writing, blogging. Again, after innumerable periods of inactivity.

It is like I've forgotten how to do this. An incoherent phrase here and there.

It feels both strangely alien and oddly familiar. Trying to come up with something witty.

I think I've lost it.

2015.

I'm afraid it's time for another customary post on the first day of the new year.
Like last year. Exactly.
This time, unlike last time, will be it.

I want it to be it. 
How? No freaking clue.
Having the best intention doesn't equate results when you lack the proper skills.

It's still the first.
Happy new year!