Bachelor of Life.

I want to downplay these four years; my experiences in pursuing a bachelor's degree, somewhere far yet still within the country. I embarked upon the quest for independence, of staying by myself, a couple of hundred km's from home. Frankly, I grew up a sheltered child, given more than I could give. This period marked a sudden upheaval of my day-to-day life, of a life living in the city. The transition of migrating a backwater countryside state did not sit well with a born and bred city boy, even if I mostly stayed at home for the past twenty years or so.

At the beginning, it was pretty surreal, I was constantly in a state of disbelief that it was my own decision that led me to this place. The city served as the constant reminder that I'll never be good enough, to go out and see the world. So, I went and pursue my studies at a rural institute instead. I was not aware that there's an entirely separate campus for engineering studies, and even after four years, I did not question why is it so. In hindsight, I should have asked more and challenge more but the environment doesn't really nurture such behavior. Therefore, I grew lazy and complacent, losing the reason why I went there in the first place. In light of sounding like a total wuss and sore loser, I did not pick myself up and fulfill the potential of all that I could be.

I managed to scraped by, just like I said I would. I foretold a self-fulfilling prophecy and reaped a little good from it. Academically, I guess I did okay. Just not so much in other areas of self development, I would've like to went out and tried more things. Alas, there's just so many things to be tried at such a small and secluded campus. The amount of resources available are severely limited, but the main contributing factors remain to be my own laziness and complacency.

These four years have been life changing. Just not enough. I'm still wholly unprepared for the next stage, as I was when I entered university. I wonder if it's my curse to feel this way my entire life. Does everyone else experience the same sentiments, or am I merely being overly introspective?

I'd like to see more of the world. Beyond that of what my screen offers me.