Amnesia.

I remember all of it, vividly.

Then, it dawned upon me. All that I have left are old memories to be remembered. The realization that you won't be creating any new experiences together is dead tough. There are stages of grief to go through and then there are stages where you just relapse and stay grieving. There's no one to tell you how hard its all gonna be, but it doesn't make it any less than what it is. Sure, everyone would be sympathetic and shit but it helps naught. Only you can make it better and there's no one in all of the nine universes who can help you. The sooner you put that through your head, the less painful it's going to be- not no pain but less.

It's called living in the past for a reason, you can't change anything so all you could do is try to remember it all exactly as it is. That itself is another challenge because it's so much better the way you remembered it rather than what had actually happen in the past. Dwelling upon the unchangeable and retrospective is one of my strong points. What you retained in those fleeting moments of joy gives you something along the lines of a liberation, you can change anything at will and you yourself won't be none the wiser.

Then there are moments that makes you wish you were amnesic. Aplenty.